But you look so good....

So I have read simlar things on other blogs that I would like to reiterate here.

Since my diagnosis it has been a rough ride of very low lows and normal normals. Once diagnosed you go through a battery of tests (multiple MRI's, blood work) AND the highlight, drumroll please... steriod infusions. The infusions ( I received 4 doses IV beta sterol) and then went on a tapered dose of Prednisone. I am telling to this becase this was the low of the low! And during that time I did my best to make it to work and do what I could. But let me explain- I looked and felt like crap! You could see I was sick and something was terribly wrong.

Fast forward to the here and now and you would look at me and I look like myself. I don't look "sick". I wear makeup, I dress as I always do, I style my hair. I look good! But the reality is I am not the self I was 6 months ago! My physical apperance has not changed. I have no mobility issues, I don't use a cane, I can walk in a straight like (kinda, lol), I can use my arms...and the list goes on and I am SO grateful for what this disease has not caused me thus far (and hopefully never). BUT there are the things you cannot see the fatigue, the blurred vision in my right eye when I get tired, the headaches, the tingleing that come and goes, the bladder issues, the dizziness that hits whenever it feels like it, the welts all over my body from the thrice weekly injections, and did I mention the fatigue?

So yes I look fine and I am fine, But I still struggle everyday. Do I struggle as much as others-no, but it is still my struggle and it is hard!

Why am I saying all of this? Is is so no one will ever tell me I look "fine" if they know I have MS? NO. I am telling this to you because you never know what others are going through when they look fine! Did you ever see someone park in the handicap spot and say- "They look fine, what a scam". Well maybe they have MS or some other disease and parking close allows them to save their energy to be as functional as possible for that day. Trust me trying to stay as functional as possible for the DAY is a big feat. You plan, you weigh the pros and cons of your anticipated activity, you store up your energy for a big event or day out. Most people don't have to think this way, they just go. Well now I have to think this way and it is hard! So before you judge someone who looks "fine" think again.

Right now I am sitting here looking fine but my nose feels like someone is dusting it with a feather (tingeling), my right eye is blurry, and I am tired as all get out! But alas I am fine. I will make it and do it all again tomorrow and forever, God willing.

So be well friends. Enjoy life. Do what you want NOW. And keep in mind that how people look does not accuratly represent what they may be feeling or dealing with!

Thanks for listening....